Kidding
by Suspicious Popsicle
Summary: "'Do you ever think it would be nice to have children' Flynn asked the question idly, mainly to have something else to say. Even so, the thought of Yuri with a pack of his own children to chase down was far too amusing." Set a few months after "Conviction." Fluri.
1. Part 1

A/N: Just a little oneshot that takes place a few months after "Conviction." It helps to read that story first, but I think there's enough exposition to allow this one to stand alone. It can also be read as linking "The Things We Leave Behind" into the set.

Disclaimer: The characters and setting in this story are from _Tales of Vesperia_ and do not belong to me.

* * *

Spring came slowly to the lower quarter, which glistened in the fading sunlight: its windows rimed with frost and dark ice lurking in treacherous patches on the roads, waiting to slip up the unwary. It had been warm in the palace and, at first, the cool night air had been refreshing. Now, however, the cold and the damp were seeping unpleasantly through Flynn's cloak, making him tense and shiver and hurry his steps toward the meager warmth of Yuri's tiny apartment.

He'd been informed some hours ago that Yuri had stopped by to see him but hadn't bothered to wait around when he'd learned that Flynn was in a meeting. It was just as well, since it had taken him ages to finish up the work that required his immediate attention before he was able to justify slipping away for a visit.

As he neared The Comet, he heard Yuri before he saw him and paused, listening. There were shrieks, giggles, and shouts, and then, beneath the sounds of children playing, he heard Yuri's laughter. It was a sound he hadn't heard much of for a long time, and he savored it for a moment before turning the corner and revealing his presence.

A few feet away, Yuri was surrounded by a group of five children, all armed with makeshift swords put together with twigs and twine. The way the ends of the twine fluttered loose reminded Flynn of Yuri's Second Star, and he suspected that his friend had had a hand in making them.

One of the boys charged forward suddenly, sword raised in a fair imitation of the way Yuri so often held it as he rushed into battle. Flynn saw Yuri's grin, saw him crouch at the ready, and watched as he snatched the boy off his feet, letting the momentum spin them around.

He built up speed, spinning faster, then shouted: "Flynn! Catch!"

It was all the warning Flynn got before the child was flung from Yuri's grasp and came flying straight into his arms, raised automatically at Yuri's shout. He staggered backward and tripped, falling onto a dusty pile of sacks that had been thrown out on the curb. Yuri threw back his head and laughed as Flynn picked himself up and dusted off while the boy ran back screaming: "Again! Again!" The whole group was suddenly clamoring for a ride, and Flynn quickly took a seat on a bench and folded his arms before Yuri could use him for target practice a second time.

In a matter of moments, Yuri let himself be dragged down by the tiny mob and Flynn watched, smiling, as he wrestled the five of them until the last of the sunlight faded away and mothers began calling the boys in. When the last child turned toward home, raising his sword in a salute as he went, Yuri brushed carelessly at the dirt and smudges and wrinkles on his shirt and took a seat next to Flynn. He leaned back, lacing his fingers behind his head, and stared up at the sky, eyes sparkling with mirth and vivacity.

"Good catch," he said, and Flynn knew he was being teased.

"You shouldn't throw children, Yuri."

"They're strong kids, they can take being tossed around a bit. Besides, I knew you'd catch him."

"I heard you came looking for me today."

"And now you're returning the favor."

"I thought you didn't like coming to the palace. I seem to recall you complaining about how the guards look at you funny."

"That doesn't sound like me. You must be confused."

"No, I remember. It was when—"

Without warning, Yuri dragged Flynn close and kissed him. It hadn't been a particularly important argument, so Flynn let it go and focused instead on how warm Yuri was and how, after they'd spent so many nights pressed close together under the blankets, the few inches between their bodies as they sat side-by-side seemed unacceptable. He pulled Yuri closer, never mind that they were in public, that Yuri was covered in sweat and dirt. What mattered was love and desire and the way being with Yuri left him fulfilled in a way that all the good he did as Commandant never could. Yuri was his friend, lover, foil, and family. He had never loved anyone the way he loved Yuri. He felt sure he never would.

They broke apart, relaxing back against the bench, and if Yuri was just a bit closer than he might normally have sat, if he was beginning to shiver just a little as the sweat cooled and he settled down after his roughhousing, Flynn wasn't about to point these things out and spoil the moment. Instead, he looked up as Yuri did, gazing into the starry sky.

He'd grown accustomed to the emptiness of the sky without the rings of the barrier blastia sectioning it off, and there was a certain beauty to the arbitrary sprinkling of stars, uninterrupted by technology. Brighter than all the other stars, Brave Vesperia shone down upon them, keeping solitary vigil over the world.

Recently, Flynn had found the sight of Brave Vesperia increasingly reassuring. The parallels between the legend and Yuri were not lost on him and, with the revelation that Lady Estellise was the Child of the Full Moon, Flynn had been unable to completely dismiss the idea that if one sibling had stepped out of legend to save the world, her brother couldn't be far behind. There were times when Yuri would be right beside him, yet feel worlds away. In those instances, the light of the brightest star in the sky eased those recurring fears that Yuri was fading away, leaving him behind. There was only one Brave Vesperia, and he continued to watch the world from above.

Still, the unease inspired by such thoughts made the quiet between them unbearable.

"You seemed like you were having fun."

Yuri shrugged. "It gave me something to do to kill time."

The fact that Yuri had even been allowed to play with the children was a huge relief for Flynn. Not long ago, Yuri had become a target for the anger and resentment of the citizens of the lower quarter. He had neither asked for nor claimed credit for the things he did to save the world, but the people of the capital weren't stupid, merely fed up with the excesses of the upper class and scared of what a future with no blastia power would bring. It hadn't taken long for rumors of Yuri's involvement to spread and, as he was much quicker to accept blame than praise, Yuri had found himself on the wrong end of at least two attacks that Flynn knew of, and probably considerably more troubles of a more subtle kind. He may have been a child of the lower quarter, but he was also a loner, a guildsman, and someone with no influence that could cause trouble in return. Yuri had only his own strength to fight back with.

Of course, he'd never complained about any of it, and Flynn wasn't sure whether to call that strength or cowardice. No matter what else had changed, Yuri still did not allow himself to ask for help. Maybe he trusted Flynn to have his back, but the trust was always unspoken, and the aid always unasked for.

Yuri had always held himself to his own set of very strict standards. It had been good to see him so carefree for once.

"Do you ever think it would be nice to have children?" Flynn asked the question idly, mainly to have something else to say. Even so, the thought of Yuri with a pack of his own children to chase down was far too amusing.

"_What_?"

Though Yuri's head snapped around at that to stare at him, Flynn didn't take his eyes from the stars. He didn't need to look to know what expression Yuri would be wearing.

"It's just…you looked happy earlier. It was a different sort of happy from what I normally see on you. More…I don't know…peaceful. It made me wonder if maybe we're missing out on something."

Yuri was silent for several long moments. Then: "I think you've been working too hard."

Flynn could hear the smirk in his voice. He knew that expression as well, knew how true amusement crinkled up Yuri's eyes and made them sparkle, and how obvious it was to him when Yuri used that mask to hide what he really thought. He glanced over and realized immediately that Yuri was not amused.

"What would we do with kids? You think they'd leave you alone just because you have a busy schedule? And if you thought tossing that kid to you was dangerous, what about taking him along when Brave Vesperia gets contracted to fight off monsters?" He laughed, but Flynn didn't hear any of his earlier warmth in the sound.

"Yuri—"

"I bet you haven't even had dinner yet, have you? How would you expect to be able to care for a kid?" He jumped up off the bench and jerked his head toward The Comet. "Come on. Let's get something to eat, then we can go upstairs and you can show me how much you missed me."

"Wait a minute!"

He was already walking away, and didn't bother looking back when he spoke. "I'm just passing through on my way back to Dahngrest. If you don't want to waste the rest of the night, then hurry up."

One night. He hadn't seen Yuri in over a month, and all they had was one night. It didn't take Flynn long to decide to let go of whatever Yuri had been hiding and play along as if nothing was wrong. Yuri was a grown man. If he had a problem, he could come right out and say it. Flynn wasn't going to start a fight over it and spoil their time together.

Later that night, after dinner and wine and catching up and pointed comments that Flynn didn't understand the point of, after a few chaste kisses and a little more wine, after they had retired to Yuri's room and reacquainted themselves with each other's bodies through fingers, lips, teeth, and tongues, after Yuri had made Flynn gasp and moan and beg, they lay together in Yuri's cramped bed, and Yuri felt as distant as the stars.

As the afterglow faded and the chill of the evening began to set in, Yuri pushed Flynn away and got out of bed. He walked naked to his dresser and pulled a bottle out of the top drawer, holding it up and sloshing the contents a bit to show Flynn.

"A gift from the old man. Want some?"

"I've had enough for tonight."

With a shrug, Yuri broke the seal, uncorked the bottle, and took a sip. Flynn watched him until the sight of him so close yet so closed off was too much. He rolled to face the wall, careful to leave room for Yuri to lay back down behind him. He thought to wait until Yuri came back to bed, that perhaps then, sated and maybe still a little uninhibited from the wine at dinner and the nightcap, that he would explain his odd mood, that he would talk to Flynn for once rather than trying to bury his issues or work them out through fighting.

At some point, Flynn dozed off while he waited. He woke the next morning alone and cold, knowing that Yuri had already left the city, but not knowing when he would be back. He sighed, and pushed the matter to the back of his mind as he got cleaned up and dressed and went back to work.


	2. Part 2

A/N: This takes place about three weeks after part one. Quick warning: the core discussion may be an important one, but it's wrapped up in stupid. I love bad puns. I can't help it. :I

Disclaimer: The characters and setting in this story are from _Tales of Vesperia_ and do not belong to me.

* * *

As he walked through the lower quarter entrance to Zaphias, Yuri rolled his shoulders and stretched. Somehow, even though he spent far more time away from the city than in it, even though a few malcontents still gave him trouble from time to time, he had never stopped thinking of the lower quarter as his home. He knew the people, knew the streets, could read the city like a book. The lower quarter was his territory, and he always felt a little lighter, a little more confident when he came back.

As soon as they'd been in sight of the city, Repede had taken off. He had his own things to take care of and would return in his own time.

Yuri wandered the streets, wondering if things were still getting better. It had been a hard winter, but Flynn's efforts had begun gaining support from the Council, and even a few members of the nobility were finally opening their eyes to the conditions of the people living in the lower quarter. The aid they finally offered had been late in coming. Many people had died of disease and exposure, and it was too late for many more. Still, changes had been set in motion. Flynn was starting a series of reforms that would save lives in the future and change problems that had been ignored and left to fester for far too long. It wouldn't be perfect, there was no such thing as a world where everyone could smile, but if anyone could come close to realizing such a world, it was Flynn.

As he walked and sensed the mood of his city, Yuri felt something rare. He felt hope. It was in the way people walked and spoke and in the set of their shoulders. It was lighter, more excited, than the customary determination to carry on despite the corrupt government and the harsh world outside the city. Yuri felt it like a refreshing breeze through the lower quarter, and it warmed him, broadening his usual smirk into a grin.

He lost himself in the city for a while, letting its mood put him at ease, until lunchtime rolled around and he began to get hungry. As he considered what to do for lunch, he glanced up at the palace.

"It's been a while since I've had mabo curry. Guess I should visit Flynn while I'm in town."

As he left the lower quarter, he was unsurprised to find that little had changed in the rest of the city. The well-off still kept their distance from him, as if his status as a citizen of the lower quarter was something catching. He ignored them in turn, taking the familiar route directly to the palace.

Briefly, he entertained the idea of entering through the main doors and being received like a guest, like he belonged there. In the end though, he knew the palace wasn't his place and he didn't want it to be. Flynn's orders that he should be welcomed and treated with respect any time he wanted to visit had been nothing short of a challenge, and Yuri had answered it long ago. He had nothing more to prove, either to Flynn or his Knights. He snuck into the gardens and scaled the wall to the window of Flynn's office.

As usual, Flynn was hard at work. He was in the middle of writing a letter or report or something and didn't bother looking up when Yuri entered, though he was obviously aware of his arrival. Yuri pulled up a chair and lounged, watching Flynn with approval. Since throwing down his gauntlet in the form of that idiotic announcement to his Knights, Flynn hadn't once put Yuri before his duty to the citizens. It was…reassuring.

Eventually, Flynn finished what he was writing, signed it, stamped it, and sealed it. Setting it aside, he folded his hands on the desk and looked up.

"Hello, Yuri. Welcome back."

He didn't sound altogether pleased, which worried Yuri a little but, for all he knew, Flynn could've been up all night working and was just exhausted. It wouldn't have been the first time.

"Thanks. How are things?"

"Fine."

He didn't bother trying to expand on that, or even ask how Yuri had been doing. He just sat there, staring. For the life of him, Yuri couldn't think what he had done to piss Flynn off.

"What's the matter with you? Somebody switch out all your furniture and mess up your nice office?"

The furniture _was_ different. Flynn's desk used to be larger, the chairs used to match, and Yuri was pretty sure there had been a couch against the wall last time he had visited.

"I've been wanting to ask you something but, seeing as you've been out of town for the last three weeks, I haven't had a chance."

Well, that didn't sound good.

"It's been bothering me. I can't seem to figure it out, no matter how many times I go over our last meeting."

"Are you going to ask me, or are you going to sit there being cryptic about it?"

"Yuri, did I do something to offend you last time you were in town?"

He'd barely seen Flynn the last time he'd been in Zaphias, but it had been long enough for Flynn to start talking about wanting kids, which wasn't something Yuri had any interest in. Since when did Flynn have time to raise a child, anyway? And if he wanted kids, why had he bothered changing things between them in the first place? Everything would have been just fine if they'd kept on going like they had been, but it was impossible now for things to go back to the way they were before. If Flynn had decided that he needed kids more than Yuri, he was going to ruin everything they had between them.

"I can't think of anything. Why?"

Flynn eyed him skeptically. It was the same look Yuri had gotten time and again from the Knights, usually when they were interrogating him. Reflexively, he clenched his fists, hating that Flynn could look at him like that when he hadn't done anything wrong…had he?

He remembered having dinner, remembered how Flynn had followed him up to his room, so eager that he'd barley allowed Yuri to open the door before slipping his hands into Yuri's shirt. Flynn hadn't tried to talk, so he'd figured he hadn't noticed anything was wrong. He remembered pulling out that bottle of wine Raven had given him. After that, things started going a little bit fuzzy. Hadn't he just gone back to bed? He'd woken up before dawn, sprawled across the bed and over Flynn who was crushed against the wall. Nursing a hangover, he'd gathered his things and left before Flynn woke up. Was he missing something?

"You're saying you weren't angry with me, then?"

"Right."

"Not at all?"

"Flynn, why don't you quit playing games and tell me what the hell you're getting at?"

"What I'm getting at is that I'd like to know why you saw fit to destroy my office by letting a goat loose in it."

"What?" He sure as hell did not remember that. Although….

"It chewed up books, papers, maps…I'm still trying to recreate some of the documents it ate. My entire library is covered in tooth marks—I think it _climbed_ the bookshelf. It tore down the curtains, ruined the carpet, broke my desk…. It ate my couch!"

"Wait…a goat?"

"Yes, Yuri, a goat. Apparently, you showed up in the middle of the night with a goat and told the guards that I wanted the damn thing, that I thought it would improve my life."

"Why the hell would I…oh." It came back to him in muddled fragments, enough so that he even remembered the why of it. His struggle to keep a straight face was a losing battle. He hadn't played a prank on Flynn in _years_, but he'd certainly made up for it with this one. Smirking, he met Flynn's glare.

"Not a goat," he corrected. "A kid."

"Excuse me?"

"A baby goat; a kid. You said you wanted kids." The laughter was getting the better of him, and he had to stop talking. Apparently his drunken self had a terrible sense of humor. It was so stupid it was funny.

"What are you talking about?"

Flynn was starting to sound more concerned than angry, which was worrying for different reasons. Angry Flynn would have been looking for a fight. Concerned Flynn would want to talk. Suddenly, things weren't so funny anymore. Yuri didn't want to find out where Flynn's priorities lay in this situation. He knew he wasn't as important as Flynn's job and he was more than fine with that. He wasn't sure how he'd rank against a child. He responded the best way he knew how, hoping to provoke Flynn, get him arguing and bait him into a fight.

"You seriously forgot? You really would be an awful dad."

"Yuri, what the hell?" Those striking blue eyes of his flashed. "What is this all about? You didn't think—"

"He really ate your couch? I can help you break in a new one." He grinned his widest, remembering the time Sodia had walked in on the two of them fooling around on Flynn's old couch. That had been hilarious, despite the fact that he'd been certain Sodia was prepared to take out a contract on his life afterward.

Flynn actually blushed at that, probably remembering the same incident, though he still looked pretty pissed off. He started to say something, but Yuri cut him off again, knowing full well that Flynn hated being interrupted, particularly with stupid questions.

"Did you name him?"

"What?"

He smirked at the bewildered expression on Flynn's face. Honestly, if he hadn't been aware that no one else flustered Flynn the way he did, Yuri would be worried for the fate of the empire.

"I'm asking if you named him. I gave you a kid, the least you could do is—"

"Stop this right now!" Flynn surged to his feet and slammed his hands down on the desk. Seeing the look in Flynn's eyes, Yuri couldn't help feeling that he might have made a mistake.

Slowly, gathering his composure, Flynn came around the desk to stand over Yuri. He braced his hands on the armrests and leaned in, putting them nose-to-nose. Yuri only managed to maintain his smirk through years of practice. He hadn't made Flynn angry, he'd made him serious, which meant talking, which meant admitting some things he'd rather not, even if he only admitted them to himself.

"Why do you think I want children?"

"Oh, probably because of all that stuff you said about how happy I looked and how much we were missing. With the hours you keep, you'd miss out anyway, so—"

"So you got drunk and put a goat in my office? Were you trying to teach me a lesson, or something?"

"I was drunk, Flynn. I'm pretty sure I was just kidding around." He grinned, but Flynn didn't bat an eye over the awful joke.

"When are you going to stop lying to me?"

"What the hell? Now you think you know what's going on in my head?"

"You make it pretty damned obvious when you're being that passive aggressive."

"What did you call me?" He sat up straight, matching Flynn's glare as he forced him to back up.

"I said you were being a passive aggressive bastard. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Yeah, I do, you pompous ass."

"Prove me wrong, then. Explain to me why what I said that day made you so angry."

"You knew I was mad?"

"How long have we known each other? Of course I knew. Stupidly, I was hoping you'd tell me in your own time."

Yuri snorted and opened his mouth to retort, but Flynn spoke first.

"No. You listen to me. You say you trust me, but then you turn around and hide from me behind that stupid smirk of yours. You've lied to my face over and over today. You're still doing it by not telling me why you—"

"Because I can't give you kids, Flynn! I wouldn't even if I could. If that's what you want, then you're wasting your time and mine."

The words were bitter, an admission that, once again, he didn't deserve to be the person standing by Flynn's side. He didn't allow himself to look away from Flynn, though, so he saw the anger drain out of him, saw his eyes soften and his shoulders slump.

"You keep coming back to that. Yuri, don't you ever think about what life would be like if things were different?"

"Sure. I'm counting on you to change things."

"That isn't what I'm talking about." He eased back, standing up and running a hand absently through his hair. "What I mean is, do you ever look back at your choices and wonder what your life would be like if you'd done something different?"

"Our choices are what make us who we are. They're why you're the Commandant and I'm—"

"Terca Lumireis' unsung hero." It wasn't what Yuri was about to say, and he knew Flynn had realized that and was trying, in his own stubborn, misguided way, to redeem him.

Flynn looked tired and, as much as Yuri wished he could blame it on the job, he knew it was entirely his fault this time. It amazed him sometimes that they'd managed to put up with each other for so long.

"I don't want children, Yuri. Not with you, not with anyone. I know just as well as you do that my position doesn't leave me a great deal of time to pursue personal relationships but, just like you, I wouldn't change the decisions I made that led me here."

Yuri eyed him suspiciously. "Why'd you say all that, then?"

"I was only thinking out loud. Just because I don't regret my choices doesn't mean I can't occasionally wonder what my life would be like if I'd done things differently. It never occurred to me that you would think I was serious."

"Why not? Don't most people want kids?"

The question made Flynn grin. "Since when have either of us been like most people?" he asked, and Yuri couldn't help returning his smile.

"Yeah, okay. My mistake." He stood up and Flynn grabbed his wrist, pulling him close.

"I've made a lot of sacrifices to get where I am now, but I have never sacrificed anything to be with you." He loosed his grip to trail his fingers up Yuri's arm and over his shoulder, bringing his hand to rest on the back of Yuri's neck as he bumped their foreheads lightly together. "I have never once regretted what we have between us."

Hearing that meant more to Yuri than he cared to admit, and he pushed Flynn away before it could show in his eyes. That close, there was no way Flynn would have missed it.

"If you're done playing at being romantic, let's go get some lunch. I bet you haven't eaten yet."

"Of course I haven't. It's barely noon."

He led Yuri into the hall with a hand on the small of his back. Yuri didn't protest, even as the light pressure of Flynn's touch remained all the way down to the palace kitchens. It was reassuring, and it let him know that Flynn had forgiven him and that things were all right between them. Later on, he would get rid of the last of that wine Raven had given him. Just then, however, he didn't really want to part company with Flynn, even if the Commandant had work to do. He figured there were worse ways to spend a free day than killing time in Flynn's stateroom, and the evening to come would be worth the wait.

He wished, briefly, that their schedules didn't keep them apart quite so much. The world needed Flynn, though, and Yuri needed to see the world, so he pushed the thought out of his mind. Life was too short for regrets.


End file.
